Do Straights Hate Us?

Is Larry Kramer Right, Do Straight Folks Hate us?

L.A. Times under the more tabloid title of “Why do straights
L.A. Times under the more tabloid title of “Why do straights

hate gays? An aging 72-year-old man isn't hopeful about the future.", the letter has
been the cause of much accusation and at least as much denial. Like most
answers in life, it all depends on whom it is that you ask.
   The principal catalyst for Larry Kramer’s missive seems to be the recent
comments by Marine General Peter Pace in which he proclaims homosexuality
immoral. How, Kramer wants explained, can a high-ranking official still get away
with such bigotry in a country that wraps itself so tightly in a flag of freedom and
democracy, where the slogan support your troops has become a mantra. "Your
top general just called us 'immoral.' Marine General Peter Pace, chairman of the
Joint Chiefs, is in charge of an estimated 65,000 gay and lesbian troops, some
fighting for our country in Iraq.”, exclaims Mr. Kramer.
   Furthering his indignation was both democratic presidential frontrunners, Hillary
Clinton and Barack Obama’s foot-dragging in responding to Paces’ comments.
“Well, I am going to leave that to others to conclude.” Clinton responded when
questioned on ABC as to whether she agreed with Pace’s comment that
homosexuality was immoral. After ducking the issue for days, Obama finally
released this intense statement: “I do not agree with General Pace that
homosexuality is immoral.” Wow Obama, what a champ, can’t wait to get in that
booth and vote for you! These are the poor choices that we as queer folk have to
choose between to lead our country.
   On much less importance, but equal in ignorance, Larry sites sensationalist Ann
Coulter’s recent disparagement of presidential candidate John Edward in which
she referred to him as a “faggot”, and even leftist writer Garrison Keillor’s recent
piece on Salon.com (which ridiculed the notion of gays as parents), as a sign that
America still hates gays. Anyone seriously taking Larry up on his offer to prove him
wrong, to prove that America doesn’t hate its gays, would have a difficult time, to
say the least. Maybe though, they hate us just a little bit less than before.
   Sergeant Pace’s comment should come as no surprise to anyone; he is an old
boy in one of the grandest of the old boy networks: the U.S. Marines. His half-
assed follow-up apology: “I should have focused more on my support of the policy
and less on my personal moral views”, is as telling as it is insincere. Should
someone with admittedly bigoted personal views really hold such a powerful
position in the U.S. Military? Let’s keep in mind that he is a Bush appointee, and
as such, we should expect little in the way of integrity. Score one for Larry Kramer.
   That Hillary and Barack didn’t sound the alarm and rise to our defense should
surprise no one who has followed these two pandering politicians; neither have
ever taken a stand without first watching the polls. Clinton refused to be tied down
to a statement regarding the legalization on gay marriage when it was a hot button
issue in Jersey, earning her a few enemies over at the Human Rights Coalition. In
the end, She has little more than her initials in common with the HRC. And Barack
speaks so infrequently on GLBT issues
that his campaign seems to have its own Don’t Ask- Don’t Tell policy.
   Now, Ann Coulter? Is she really any yardstick by which to measure the mindset
of the American public? After all, most don’t think of the 9/11 widows as a bunch
of “whiners“. Neither do we get wet in the panties when in the presence of Sean
Hannity . Coulter’s hurling of the word “faggot” at John Edward has less to do with
homophobia than it has to do with an shrill old hack who will say anything to grab
a headline.
   It is also quite possible that Garrison Keilor’s piece on Salon.com was meant to
be taken tongue in cheek. It had better be. The thrice married host of Prairie Home
Companion, could not possibly be deriding same-sex marriage as the
Armageddon of some steadfast tradition that he so reveres. Having several baby-
mommies and a couple of notorious affairs to his name, one has to seriously
doubt that he would leave himself vulnerable to such obvious recrimination.

And Now The Good News…

New Jersey has joined Connecticut and Vermont in offering civil unions to
Gay/Lesbian couples, and hey, Massachusetts even offers gay marriage. So, four
out of fifty isn’t great, but it sure beats the zero out of fifty we had just a decade
ago. Four is also the paltry number of states left that offer no hate-crimes
legislation. The other forty-six have enacted at least some protections to those
who are victimized simply for what they are.
   Queer kids certainly have it at least a little better today. Many high schools and
colleges across the country have now formed gay/straight alliance groups. This not
only offers queer kids a haven in the middle of what is often a war zone, but also a
place to enlighten their straight friends as to what it means to be gay. And except
for the kids who are raised in those Jesus Camp type places, most have parents
of an age where they are not totally oblivious to gays, and they understand a least
a little more then our parents did.
   The workplace too has increasingly become a place to be out and proud. Many
major companies now offer domestic partners the same opportunities afforded
their heterosexual employees. Of course, it’s not all about the legal stuff, the
insurances and the Family Medical Leave Act, but about being treated fairly, and
with the same respect as any other employee. Mostly, at least in the major cities,
we do have that freedom. Heck, I have one art director in my office who is so
butch, she keeps a can on Cruex on her desk just for laughs. Now that’s progress.
   Daring the American public to prove that they don’t hate gays is a moot request
really. Straights, like many gays in America, are more apathetic then active in any
debate. Any culture whose idea of supporting their troops during wartime is
adhering a plastic yellow ribbon to the bumper of their gas guzzler are hardly going
to take to the streets to ensure Harry can marry Larry. After all, civil rights are not a
really the center of attention these days; we are all too busy trying to lose ten
pounds and get rich.
   Apathy may not be love, it may not even be acceptance, but it sure beats the
absolute disdain in which we lived not so long ago. This should be a source of
pride to Larry Kramer and those of his breed; it was the honesty and the bravery of
queer folk like this who put gay America on the map back in the seventies and
throughout the following decades. They are the only reason that we have whatever
amount of acceptance that we do have today. It probably won’t be anytime soon
that straight America opens its collective arms in welcome to the LGBT
community, after all, hate is easy - love takes time.